Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that affects how people regulate their emotions. It can cause intense mood swings, impulsive actions, and difficulty maintaining stable relationships. One of the biggest challenges for people with BPD is dealing with emotional "triggers"—situations or events that set off overwhelming feelings, such as sadness, anger, fear, or shame.
Many people with BPD have experienced childhood trauma, which can change how the brain responds to stress. A recent study found that childhood neglect and abuse may alter the way the body processes emotions, making people with BPD more sensitive to stress and emotional pain. Understanding these changes can help in developing better-coping strategies.
A trigger is anything that causes an intense emotional reaction. For people with BPD, common triggers include fear of being abandoned, feeling criticized or rejected, sudden changes in plans, and conflict with loved ones. Even small situations, like a friend not responding to a message right away, can bring up strong feelings of panic or sadness.
Scientists have discovered that people with BPD may have changes in their brain’s natural stress and reward system. This means they might feel emotions more intensely and struggle to calm themselves down. A 2024 study found that childhood neglect can cause changes in certain brain chemicals, making it harder for people with BPD to handle stress.
One of the best ways to manage BPD is to identify personal triggers. Keeping a journal to track stressful situations and emotions can help spot patterns. Writing down what happened, how it felt, and what thoughts came up can make it easier to prepare for similar situations in the future.
When a trigger happens, grounding techniques can help bring emotions back under control. Focusing on the senses—like touching a cold object, listening to music, or describing things in the environment—can shift attention away from distressing thoughts. Breathing exercises, such as inhaling slowly for four seconds and exhaling for eight, can also help calm the body.
It is also important to challenge negative thoughts. People with BPD often jump to extreme conclusions, like if someone who cancels plans does not care about them. Instead of reacting immediately, it helps to step back and consider other explanations. Maybe the person is busy or having a tough day. Taking time to reflect can prevent an emotional reaction from taking over.
Accepting emotions without trying to fight them can also be helpful. When something painful happens, many people naturally resist, telling themselves it "shouldn’t" be happening. However, resisting emotions often makes them feel worse. Instead, acknowledging feelings—such as saying, "This is really upsetting, but I will get through it” can help ease emotional suffering.
Setting clear boundaries in relationships is another essential tool. For example, if certain conversations or situations cause distress, it is okay to communicate personal needs. Saying things like, "I need a moment to process before we continue this conversation," can help create a healthier environment. Learning to recognize when space is needed and communicating that calmly can prevent emotional escalations.
Taking care of the body also plays a big role in emotional health. Engaging in activities that bring comfort, such as listening to music, reading, exercising, or spending time in nature, can help stabilize emotions. Studies have shown that regular movement, like walking or stretching, can improve mood and lower stress.
Many people with BPD find therapy helpful in learning new ways to cope. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a type of counseling that teaches skills for managing intense emotions, handling stress, improving relationships, and staying present in the moment. Research has shown that DBT can reduce self-harming behaviors and emotional outbursts.
Another type of therapy, called Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT), helps people understand their own emotions and the emotions of others. Many people with BPD struggle with misinterpreting situations, assuming that others are angry or rejecting them when they are not. MBT helps individuals slow down their reactions and see situations more clearly.
Recent research has also explored medications that might help people with BPD, especially those who experience extreme emotional pain. Scientists have found that people with BPD often have imbalances in their brain’s stress response system. Some medications that affect this system could provide relief in the future, but more research is needed before they become widely available.
Coping with BPD triggers takes practice, but it is possible to build better emotional regulation skills over time. Recognizing triggers, practicing grounding techniques, challenging negative thoughts, setting healthy boundaries, and taking care of both the body and mind can all contribute to a more stable and fulfilling life. Therapy, especially DBT and MBT, can offer valuable support in learning these skills.
Borderline Personality Disorder does not define a person’s worth. With the right strategies, support, and professional help, individuals with BPD can lead meaningful lives and form strong, lasting relationships.
Bateman, A., Rüfenacht, E., Perroud, N., Debbané, M., Nolte, T., Shaverin, L., & Fonagy, P. (2024). Childhood maltreatment, dissociation, and borderline personality disorder: Preliminary data on the mediational role of mentalizing in complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, and Practice, 97(Suppl. 1), 58–74. https://doi.org/10.1111/papt.12514
Gescher, D.M., Schanze, D., Vavra, P. et al. Differential methylation of OPRK1 in borderline personality disorder is associated with childhood trauma. Mol Psychiatry 29, 3734–3741 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-024-02628-z
Pugliese, E., Visco-Comandini, F., Papa, C., Ciringione, L., Cornacchia, L., Gino, F., Cannito, L., Fadda, S., & Mancini, F. (2024). Understanding Trauma in IPV: Distinguishing Complex PTSD, PTSD, and BPD in Victims and Offenders. Brain Sciences, 14(9), 856. https://doi.org/10.3390/brainsci14090856
